||[Aug. 24th, 2006|12:15 pm]
It's been four months since I left everything I've ever known. I knew that Wesley was right, I needed to get out of the mess that was Los Angeles. So I made it out of the sewers and packed up everything I had, got patched up and booked the first flight out of town.
I managed to get a job in my old Department in the Firm's London branch. So I've got my life back, all my pretty things, A Wonderful new apartment, all the things I could ever want. There's just one problem I don't have 'him' anymore, maybe I never did. I sighed as I looked out of my office window for the third time today, watching the sun set. I finished my scotch and went to collect my things. My shift's been over for a good three hours now.
I got in my car with every intention of just going home, when I decided that I didn't want to go home to an empty apartment, so I drove down to the local pub. I parked my car, then walked into the smoky little pub. I scanned the room quickly as I made my way to the bar. I ignored the stares from all the men, as I sat down at the bar. I looked at the bartender, with a small smile. "Scotch neat lots of it" He just nodded and walked off to get it. I looked around the place. I just wanted one night to just get drunk and maybe forget about the life I left back in LA, or more specifically the man who broke my heart.
The bartender came back over with my drink, and I smiled at him. I sat sipping my drink and tried to think of something other than Wesley.
((Open to Giles))
I watched as Benny tinidly came back down to refill the glass. He's staring awfully hard at that glass,huh must've been something I said. I waited for him to leave before adressibg Giles again.
I noticed he had that look on his face, the same one Wes would alwys get,just before throwing me up against a wall. A small shiver ran through me,but I did my best to shrug it off. Finishing my drink I looked at him. "This was fun,but i really should be going. I have a ton of paperwork waiting for me back at the office.."
I paid Benny ,then started to leave. As I walked away from the bar, I thought I heard Benny mutter something about my being a bitch, and just smirked. What he's nice and all,but he had to find out sometime that I'm not one of those nice girls. I mean we can't all be Wesley's precious Winifred.
The bartender calls her a cold bitch. I find this very amusing. The mangy little tit thinks she's cold, and I'm close to bursting in flames just from looking at her. She's the sort of woman who can set one's bed on fire. Hell, she could probably send one's whole house in flames, because there's no way a man could stand not to take her on or against any available surface
I'm about to do something very stupid. The knowledge that it's stupid doesn't stop me. I get a few bills out of my wallet and put the money on the bar before bolting out the door.
I see her next to a silver Mercedes. I'm lucky. Or unlucky, if I think further than the next ten minutes and the stirring in my trousers.
"You forgot something," I tell her.
She opens her mouth to say something. It's all I need. My body presses her against the car. My hands are in her hair, messing up the sophisticated hairstyle. My mouth is on hers.
This is a very bad idea. It is dangerous and stupid. Feels like magick, the way Ripper used to wield it. Should be able to smell the damn brimstone. Instead I smell Chanel.
I'm not going to go any further than kissing. I keep telling myself this, but it's getting harder and harder. As do I.
I was at my car about to get in,when Giles came outside after me. I didn't get much of a chance to say anything,because next thing I know, I'm pressed up against my car, and have him kissing me. Everything suddenly feels like it's spinning really fast.
I should pull away,but this feels good, even it's just kissing. My mind is racing with about a million different things, not one of them having anything to do with the man kissing me. Ok Lilah pull it together, move damn it, this isn't Wesley.. After what seems like ages I finally managed to pull myself away from the kiss.
"You always do this with women you've just met?" I ask, trying to hide the fact that it'd thrown me way off guard. Not too mention that one kiss brought back a whole flood of painful memories. Things I was trying so desperately to forget.
I busied myself with getting my car door open,while I waited for an answer.
I realize that I was counting on her to stop me. It worries me that she'll stop me too late. I don't believe for a second that it's my kissing skills enthralling her. She's either baiting me, or she was just as lonely as I thought. I also don't believe that she's so taken aback that she can't react. Not her style at all.
"You always do this with women you've just met?"
No, I really don't. I'm glad she's just using the icy voice rather than a highly fashionable and slightly illegal stunt gun. Or some evil spell. Damn! She can always do this when she gets in the car or at her office. I have to do a hex check up bright and early tomorrow.
She turned her back to me, opening her car.
I have no reply. No acceptable explanation for what I just did. I take off without saying another word.
Life was so simple for me on the hellmouth. No big demonic law firm gave a damn about a high school librarian, or a magic shop proprietor, or a Watcher. My status as head of the New Watchers' Council changed things. Now I'm a target worth bating with a high class woman like Lilah Morgan.
I'd managed to get my car door open,and no answer came. I looked over to see him just staring at me for a few short seconds, then walking away. Well can't say i saw that coming. Oh well I had other things to worry about, like the mountain of paperwork, waiting for me back at the office.
Sighing I got in my car and drove back in the direction of the office. I got halfway there,before deciding to just go home. Once I was home I took a nice long hot bath, and changed into my pajamas. I grabbed a glass of red wine and got into bed with my new issue of Vouge magazine.
While flipping through the pages I tried not to think about how useful Rupert giles could be to the firm. I tried not to think about him or another Watcher I knew. I sighed and glanced at my phone, that lay on the night stand next to me. No I'm not going to call him, besides he's probably busy and it's late. Wes wouldn't really want to hear from me anyway.